State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
