I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
