he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
