therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
