In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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