You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
