He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So here I am, sexting at work.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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