Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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