Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
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She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
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When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
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