Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
