He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
