Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
