I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
