absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
