everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
