I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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