Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
