You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
