If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
