I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
