someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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