yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
