I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
