Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
