I am in a vortex of obligation.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
