Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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