they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
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Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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