I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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