I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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