Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
In other news, I just burned my penis
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
