Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
only you would photoshop your dick
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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