three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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