I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
