The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i think my cat just said my name.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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