You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
