I wish you could order shots online.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize