i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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