Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
