Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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