You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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