we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
