Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
