well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
