I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i have two assholes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize