My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I accidentally burped into my bong.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
