I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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