What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I party with great urgency now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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