dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
