You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
