so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
