it was like his penis was on wheels.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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