I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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