I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize