Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
