Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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