I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize