nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just high enough for therapy.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
