Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
